90% of the yanks i talk to seem to be unable to tell the difference between IE6SETUP.EXE and IE_S6.cab or .zip, i say "double click on IE6SETUP.exe" they say "do you mean IE_s6?? duh duh huh?" And it burns, it burns so bad. I want to hollar "DID I SAY IE_S6?? YOU BLITHERING KNOB." But i never do, and i believe thats why it burns so badly. I need to hang up on someone, i do it at home all the time, I have a call centersupport friend that i can call, they say something stupid to me, and i get to hollar at them and hang up! It's all the outlet I need.

Lately it's been the most incredible farts I've ever had (frequency and wavelength) and i think it's cause of the no smoking, between the coughing fits and the fartin, coming outta both ends, it's been keeping me busy, but not just me, I know plenty of people who are stinking it up a lot lately, and they now who they are, non stop farts - like 30 seconds long - and stinkin like "freshly opened grave site in spring". What is with that? Is it just the winter air? Well don't breath in too deep unless you know who's standin beside ya. (it could have been me.)

So thats what they meant by that,.......ok, I see it now! Ya you are totally right! lol

Still off the butts as of this writing, the applause is deafening. thank you. So many people say they want to quit, but don't have the time to put out the effort, but i find it's not bad at all, was in the van at lunchtime and Brad had what seemed like a 100 smokes between the burger hut and coffee shop, but it didn't really bother me, and that surprised me, its one thing to be in the bar, and there be a seperate room for smoking, but when it's no more then 2 feet out of my grasp when sitting in the van and still nothing, thats an acomplishmint. That was friday, tried a puff while out at the bar and it was BAD. Not really bad. But bad enough not to make me want more of that vile, soul sucking filth.....Don't ya just hate the x-smokers, all holier than thou and shit, well I vow to never become one of those. If I do, someone please, hit me with an ashtray.

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I think once you reach a certain age you should be dried out in a great big flash dehydrator and then used as a cheap source of food for third world countries. At the very least you should have your car and computer taken away. Stick to the TV, move on only after you'ved mastered the therory of "remote control" and can set the clock on the VCR. Or better yet read a book!, stick with the technology your
generation invented. I loved the movie "Logan's Run", but they should make it 60 instead of 30.
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I have tried using MS Word to blog, but it puts these characters in the mix which get blogged up as wierd characters on the blogger. Shame
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Shoelaces! thats something we never really think about but so much depends on those laces being there and working correctly when you need them, I recently noticed one of my laces are borderline and and may have to be retired as a preventitive measure. It's seen better days for sure, hopefully we won't be putting any undue strain on it and we will be able to keep on tying tight shoes at least til replacements can be purchased. There is the real problem though. Who remembers to "buy" shoelaces? I was at the mall last saturday and had the shoes with the very same problem lace on, and still could not remember to purchase a replacement lace. That is how little onus we actually put on such a large and intragel part of our daily lives. So the next time you bend down to tie your shoes lets take a few extra seconds to acknowledge theseunderapprieciated shoe tightners, examine them for defects and anomalies which might lead to breakage and embarassing loss of shoe. If you have a bit more time, learn how to make your shoe knots just a little more effective.
Shoelaces's are our friends!

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What started out as a beloved daily expression of love, eagerly anticipated, has, over the months, become a chore, a loveable chore, but yet an uphill battle, and little by little it slipped away and over time became a weekly attempt to rekindle that affection which was first felt so long ago, and once again it is becoming something which I feel I must do, and I genuinely want to do, but sometimes lack the drive and, I
must admit, I have failed personally on a committment I made long ago to blog on a daily basis. I feel so bad about it too. DAMN THE NETWORK MONITORS!!!! We never really had a chance, did we! Well, I'm still going to try and do this daily but it's just not going to be as daily as the word daily would imply. But as daily as I can make it.

A brand new year, been off the smokes since 1am saturday morning, and it aint that hard. I quit earlier then is generally recommended to get the girly girl off my back about her quiting while I suck harder on the teet of smokey joy, getting as much of the wonderful drug of life as I could manage between the pains in my throat, my lungs, upper back and my sinuses and the headaches and coughing fits. Really, there wasn't much time for actually smoking, just complaining about smoking, and all the aches and pains associated with smoking. The web site in my previous entry is really helping to stay off them. I no longer wake up and reach for a smoke and then spend the day in that foggy haze, blind to the fact that there's is a whole world of smoke free living out there, covered in fudge and peanuts and one great big spoon in the glass to stir it up, oh baby, stir it up, into a sweet sweet covering for when you need to get it done on time and there's nowhere else to turn, that right. And now I'm gonna get some too!! Wooohooo Stamp that one and we'll see how long it lasts. Me?? I think it's for a good cause, so I'll just give and give and give. Then they always turn around on ya and just, and just bite you on the arse when you need it the most, leaving you hanging there, after walking the whole length of the room only to hear, "no I will take the ugly chair, you shall stand!" and at that point there's absolutly nothing to do but keel over laughing and coughing up brownshit cause you quit smoking only a few days ago and still smell it from the clothes of you co-workers, who seem to think "I'll get everybody down there to blow it on me before I go back upstairs and sit next to skinnyXsmoker!" I know that's not the case but they smell so sweet walking by that I have to squeeze out a big draft blaster fart to bring me back to the cushions of home and hearth, shooting darts and eating pepper fried steak by the bun. Man, I almost forgot about the last time I felt this good, I was like twelve and there was so much going on, it seemed like the last innocent summer, but it wasn't, I never got laid til years later. Still got alot of shine to polish this winter up to a blinding mirror-like reflection and this time I'm pretty sure I won't be forgettin the way it used to be, brown fingers and teeth, and stinking like an old man at the bus stop outside the nursing home after being kicked out of the smoking room because visiting hours are over. So here's props to girly girl for demanding an early release from the butts for me. "Your loves got me skinny so skinny right now, got me skinny so skinny right now!" It's gonna be an uphill battle but I'm up for the challenge.Even the stress of dealing with these people who can't spell their own names, dosent make me want to smoke, I sort of get this run on sentence thing going in my mind and i don't know where to put the commas and periods, where one thought stpos and another starts they just seem to blur into one incoherent mess of tuna and strawberry jellyfish sandwiches all rolled into one miss mash of what the hell are ya talking about anyway and i can't tell you that, you have to figure it out for yourself! "Please oh please Lord Nicoteen, don't forsake me, snuggle me in your smokey arms again, never againwill I turn from the dark side, take me back into the fold, and love me love me love me...." No that won't be me, no way, no friggen way. I hate bloggin on notepad, all the friggin formatting is off see .....Get your friggin hands off my crackers!!

Havent blogged in a while, due to network restrictions and being in a blurry haze of alcohol, triptaphan, and nicoteen, kinda makes me sleepy when I'm home. Too sleepy to blog from there anyway.

Christmas wasn't the big disapointment I expect it to be every year, once again I've been proved wrong, this year by salami, scallops, spiced rum and the excitment of children on christmas day. So merry belated christmas, I guess.

So, I got a Genoa for Christmas, (see above line) the finest of the rolled meats, the king of salami's! For eating only this time. Two more feet and we can put it in the fridge! Man those things are big, and yummy too! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Fruity pink/purple walls, this place is like a detox ward, makes me want to get high so I'll enjoy the view.

No word on the stalker watch, still don't have the time to get to the police station, there should be plenty of time (and no excuse) now that all the shopping is done.

It sometimes takes me three attempts to spell the word spywear, I mean spyware!

Gonna try and quit smoking this week, and you may have seen this statement before but I mean it this time! Got a stop smoking book which apparently works on rig pigs so I should be able to use it and have it work too, right? Girly girl has a web site which is helping her quit and seems to be working so i have back up for that if need be.

click to quit --- that's the link if your interested on being smoke free next year.

Well thats all the time we have for now folks, bloggin is hard work, I hate bloggin on notepad, see ya all next year! Have a happy one!

I hate bloggin on notepad, the Network nazi's are everywhere though. They're watching
every move you make, waiting waiting waiting to pounce and "misappropriation of
network resources" my skinny ass to the sidewalk. Just scanning my security badge
every morning is a stressful event and when it does "ding" me in, it is like a
catch 22 thing - "well I still have a job......but I still work here."

It's not that bad, I'm not surfin porn or downloading Mp3's or setting up pyramid
schemes or mass mailer bots with the network, and now, bloggin on notepad and running
a cut a paste operation, I don't even have that blog window open for more than a few
moments, but the whole time I do I hear the mission impossible theme running through
my head and constantly turn over my shoulder to see if Big Brother is indeed watching
at that moment. Of course none of that even matters because "IT" is always watching
and logging and logging and watching with a never tiring eye, it dosent even blink.
Thats the reason for the mixed feelings at the swipper in the morning and the reason
I'm blogging on notepad.

I hate blogging on notepad.

What a hateful week this is turning out to be, one step closer to the poorhouse, one step closer to the nuthouse. Not sure where I'll end up first, but the race is on. It's this thing they call Christmas, the shift change, and the stupid people I must deal with each day while in here. Like this:

Customer: "I need to dial a 9 to reach an outside line!"

Me: "but we just connected without the 9 and get an operator message when we use it!"

Customer: "I still need to dial a 9 to reach an outside line"

Me: "aaarrrrrrrrrgghgghghghghg!"


I think I'm still in "Tuesday and Wednesday Off" mode. I’m feeling all snappy with customers and think it might be cause I feel like I shouldn’t be here today. Oh well, it'll work itself out. A few good "Saturday and Sunday Off" combinations should fix this in short time.

Still no hacker update…nothing to post here anyway.

Just upgraded my parents computer to give it some USB ports, so ya can guess how old that friggin thing is. But the hardware gave IRQ errors with soundcard, video card and finally I had to get rid of the printer port to get it to run properly, printer is busted anyway and the next one we get will have USB capability, so that's not a problem. But instructing my parents, who rarely have the time to teach themselves how to reset the VCR clock (again), to operate this pokey win98 with a 166 MHZ (the camera wants a P2) set up with the auto email feature of the new digital camera, is going to be hell. See below for what my life is like before during and after work.

Seems that my angelfire account is hosting my images just fine, so far at least. After they realize there's no advertisements being added to the images they may feel differently but for now everything looks good.

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My new shift is in, 11 - 8pm with Saturday and Sunday off. Not too bad, be home in time for CSI and be available to jam during the week at a decent hour. There's more chance of VTO on that shift as well, not a significant chance and not a big issue with me either way.

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No change at this time in the hacking fiasco, although everyone who received the email mailed out by the hacker is in agreement that she should nail who ever is responsible to the wall, and go to the fullest extent of the law. I agree completely. This is going to change somebody's life beyond their wildest dreams; at least it should, if there's any justice anywhere. Well, thats todays update, pretty insignificant but more to come when we actually get to go to the police and this ball starts rolling along legally. I think I'll base my first screen play on the events surrounding this last coupla days, don't know what to call it yet though.

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So did you ever notice how 130 minutes is not an hour and a half?

Seems somebody thought hacking my girlfriends hotmail account, changing her password and emailing mail from her inbox to a lot of people in her address book would be a good project to amuse them on Wednesday. It also seems that the police are quite interested in finding out who, twice yesterday, temporarily stole her identity and violated all sorts of laws and agreements they accepted when they signed up for service with their ISP, who is also interested in finding out who has been abusing their service to commit privacy violations, which in this day and age is a serious offence. So we have to go to the police dept. tomorrow morning, make a report to get the ball rolling and see what gets brought up in the wash. This is so exciting! I can barely contain myself! If it turns out that they work here, theyll get fired for breach of contract, whether or not they were on the clock or in the building, its definitely a breach of contract ethics if nothing else. I ll keep posting on this as more info is collected, maybe others would be interested in the outcome of this as well.

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If its Skinny, and its Lickin, it must be Good!!

Can ya believe that snow/rain/sleet/hail thing it's doing out there tonight? And high wind on top of it all! I like a good week long early winter storm as much as the next guy, but this is a little much! Just getting or the aches and "every muscle in my body burns" pains from shovelling last week, and then they throw this at me. Well, at least the old fella's home to take over early morning shovelling duty if need be. The nightmares about being chopped to bits by the shovel were just starting to end. I hope to GOD it dosen't hold off til Tuesday!

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I guess I gotta break down and shop on Tuesday, but that tears me between the shovelling and the shopping. Which would I rather do? Which do i absolutely hate more? Hmmmmm. I don't think I can answer that without comparing the too, so i guess I have to try the shopping. Last year, I just gave Mom a price and away she goes, The Shoppinator! In no time the room was filled with things I didn't even know existed and apparently have been around for quite awhile. Everyone was happy last year, "me smellin like rosies", them with good gifts that they want or can actually use for something beside dust bunny catchers under the bed or behind the couch, Mom got to shop again AND do something nice for me, and I only had to pick up something for her and that was that, and that was such a sweet sweet set up.

This year's turning out bad already, a parcel is being mailed Wednesday, hopefully to arrive by the 23rd so I've got a sister and a nephew to get something usefull and/or memorable for, and it has to be done Tuesday. Meaning I can't drink 6 mugs of Draft on Monday night and sleep til 2pm, that's would not be productive now would it? Then there's the "girlfriend" issue. What to get for the woman who has everything (me that is!)?? She won't even give me a hint as to want she wants so I have to assume she has everything she needs, and try and get her something I want, so I can use it when I'm over there! Can you say crotchless panties? I can! Just don't know if I could say it to a cashier! My brother is not sure what he's doing, and probably won't know til the 22nd, when he'll get drunk and hop a $1600 plane ride from out west and surprise everyone who FEDEX'd his gifts out west and he'll be here just in time for everyone to go out and buy more gifts so he dosent feel left out! Can ya see why I'm not a fan of the season? This is just the tip of the iceberg! I'll tell ya bout the rest later!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Plan A is to just giv'er
Do you have a plan B?
Plan B is to just keep on given'er!

Well, the two days of ball scratchin are almost over. Tommorrow, the boys club in our tiny corner of corporate hell will be invaded by women. Women who have thursday's and fridays off and leave the boys to thier own devices. Seems we get just comfortable enough to be decieved into believing "this job aint that bad" then they come in, and we have to stop talkin about certain things or at least we should stop talkin about certain things. Well some of us do, but anyway our area is considered HR row, so it shouldn't matter if I scratch my balls while the girls are around, should it? Most of them have husbands or boyfriends and should have seen some ball scratchin before, i would think anyway. Still I just don't feel right scratchin my balls with the girls around, I have to keep it to a minimum, and have to sneak those ones when I'm sure there's no chance of getting caught. But it could be worse! I could have 5 straight days of no ball scratchin at all, at least this way i get eased on into it over 2 days.

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Lord Flying Jesus in the Skies, I can't stand all this Christmas build up! Why does it start so early? Why is our's the only team with decorations? How long til they figure out I lied and am bringing absolutely nothing in to decorate my cube? How long will they pester until I must lie again and say "OK, I'll bring it in tommorrow!". Will they ever get the hint, third Christmas here, still no rotating, flashing, fat, red-robed didler, singing a three note carol, powered by a $2.00 watch battery sitting on my desk. Maybe he'll decorate this year! I'd say "when hell freezes over", but did ya see all the snow outside?

***************
Well looks like Brinkster finally shut down my ability to host that reaper image I had on my free space, I can't even seem to get my images back to post elsewhere which really bites and chews. My angelfire seems to be kickin along with out a hitch so far, but I need to acquire the image again to load it up there. Well I got my project for tonight, after I get that 98 machine back into 98 shape, that is!

Back to work, 3 feet of snow, wheel studs have to be cut off the rims to change the baloney skin tires, did i mention three feet of snow? The shovel has become a nightmarish image for me now. It appears right side up bouncing on the blade, chasing me through snowdrifts. I run and run and run, knowing if I lose my footing I will drown in the snow, while the shovel chops me into little pieces with it's razor sharp, stainless steel blade. Then I wake up, and feel like I've been cut into tiny pieces by a razor sharp stainless steel blade, but I realize I'm just in agony caused by shovelling, shovelling, and more shovelling. Not to mention 3 years since I worked any physical labour at all. First winter back here was fine, I was in school and just came back from climbing mountains out west on a survey crew, shovelling was a breeze. But after 2 years of sitting in these wide open "cubicles" and doing no type of muscular exertion, I fear I have become soft. Being ridiculed because of the soreness caused by my softness does not sit well with me, and I guess the rub down is days away, if it comes at all! So now I have mental and physical pain and no way to get relief. Winter sucks! Snow sucks! I hate Snow, and I refuse to dash through it, you can't make me!!! Ya Ya, Jingle these bells!!

******20 SHOPPING DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!******
Don't that just put the Santa in your Claws?

Just a few things:
What if we all had 6 nipples?
Can someone actually get paid to blog?
Would I make KD @ 2am if I didn't care?
Crayons were easier to play with in the 70's! There was only 14 colours!
My whole work area looks like someone threw a few elves in a woodchipper, and I just luuuuuv Xmas!


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The people who know they can do the job, and are fully qualified to do it, are never the ones who get it because they feel that if there is anything right in this world they will get what they deserve without acquiring the tell tale nasal discolorations of those who are not qualified, and know damn well the only they can get a head is to kiss it.

How the hell do you accidentally push the reset button on a computer tower?
I do tech support, here's the scenario -

ME - "Lets click on the "x" on the top of the software and close it down to your desktop."
Customer - "ok " - brief pause - "Oh , what's it doing? It's restarting the computer."
ME - "What did you click on to do that? What happened?"
Customer - "Oh, I accidentally pushed the restart button."
ME - "I'm going to have to put you on hold for a minute or two, thanks for holding"

My GOD!! Yes Chris, some people's kids DO have too many chromosomes!

***************

I'm starting to use the paint program on Windows and even though it's not as "robust" as Photoshop, I think the talent I have is starting to shine through the limitations of the program. I may have a bit of the picasso in me yet!



thats a self portrait!



that's a profile of the old me



I dunno what this is, but it'skinda wierd

Viva La Painte Program!!

It aint what ya know it's who ya blow, the only way to get ahead is to give a little. lol
Thats something we should be teaching in high school now days...."How to succeed even if your capable and qualified 101" You don't need an impressive IQ, forget about learning altogether! Capable and Qualified is a handicap in this generation's work force, so don't even bother to long for that warm, fuzzy feeling of personal pride for succeeding at your job by being the best or trying to be the best. Thats right kids, work on your social skills cause thats what your going to need the most in this world, don't worry if ya have no ability or an overwhelming percentage of other people greatly outclass you in trainablilty, following procedure, basic intellect and personality. No matter, find someone to suck up to, not just anybody now, you have to make sure they can grease the wheels for you. If that dosent work, hammer away and annoy the fuck out of anybody you can so they think they're going to have piece and quiet if you get whatever it is you want.

These, my friends (or friend) are the rules for success in the new Millenium. So why even try to better yourself? Why put forth the effort to become as good as possible in your present position, to aspire to be one of the best when you know damn well it will have no bearing on the scalability of your "career". College education, bah, what is that worth? Wasted tuition, unless you make the contacts to help with your future success while you are there. Treat university as an expensive, temporary country club. Making the right friends, or at least learning how to become teachers pet and do as little work as possible while still managing to shine as brightly as possible is the object here. Intellectual retention is not an issue. Just think of it as the training ground for the next chapter of your life, and get ready to succeed in the workplace with little or no effort at all. Cheers!

Well another Sunday staring me right in the face and it looks like it's gonna be a long one. But I can hide under the stairs and eat corn chips and crushed olives til i feel like smashing the frogs back to the pasty little fucks they were in the first place. Who can stop me? Ya, you just go ahead and try. What? Oh ya, where's my pills?

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Things I've Noticed til now

Ambidextrous people have symetrical hair styles.

If you fart and the dog leaves the room, see a doctor.

It only takes 20 smashed frog to make an even 2 dozen.

If you fart and the dog licks his lips, see a doctor.

Money does not buy happiness, but it can help you rent it.

If you fart and the dog is un-affected, sell the dog, he is of no medical use to you any longer.

A small bucket is almost as good as a large one if you don't have alot of sand to play with.

I don't type the word "special" very often.

Sundays sometimes go very quickly, but sometimes they drag out.

If I stare long enough at the top of my desk, I loose my concentration.

Dogs love farts, it's that simple.

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Where oh where has my coffee buzz gone?
Where oh where can it be?

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Well it seems my first posted pic was not allowed to be linked from the storage drive it was on because then the storage company couldn't fly some huge banner advertisement on the screen. Still working on this, and I will prevail. I was able to link to the reaper page to the left on brinkster but they wont allow anything else to be successfully linked to. And now I have lots of hair to tear out....have to be careful there.

***************

Well I found some thing at angelfire that would let me (temporarily at least) link a pic to them, we'll see how long it lasts. Took all friggin day for me to find that as it was, tired now, no mo bloggin, eye's are twitchin..........bye.

My left eye is twitchin, and twit twit twitchin all the time now, is it stress? Am I headed for a nose dive? Like, after running up those 2 flights of stairs coming back from break only to land in a skinny twitchin heap before I can even get to my seat? Nervous breakdown maybe? Running amuk at the Supervalue because I can't pay for one pound of hamburger at the customer service desk, I have to go to the "Express Aisle" and stand behind 11 people and watch the cashier pack bags before she can get to my one item? I don't know in the cards from this, maybe XRAY vision, but what ever it is I wish it'd happen soon, so this friggin twitchin'll stop. When does my eye not twitch? Maybe never. Can't tell if it twitches while I sleep, and if it ain't twitchin I really don't notice it. I'm getting more sleep lately though and that dosent seem to be helping, it seems to be getting worse.

***************
"What does the color actually matter? They do the exact same thing!" (shopificus nonrepeateus)

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I got a real twitchy eye
and I couldn't tell you why
But I wouldn't tell you lies
It's a real twitchy eye!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's a toothbrush! Pick one and LETS GO!!" (shopificus nonrepeateus)

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Friday, is here again! Big fat hairy deal! Maybe gonna go out and get some beer, but I don't think so. Got a DVD player in the dungeon now it's like CSI is now a life style for me. Put on those gloves, and dust me for whatever baby!!"