I've come to realize I don't belong here, I belong in a time long past or far into the future in a galaxy far far away. Fighting the latest threat to the New Republic, the hideous Yuzhan Vong, nasty creatures who reward themselves with self-mutilation and torture their enemies only to hear the very basic emotions of terror and pain.
These usurpers of the democratic and peaceful way of life the New Republic has come to represent must be stopped at any cost, ANY cost.
They've already killed one of Leia's kids and maybe a second, one of the twins, and are gunning for the female twin now as we speak! If only I could be there, armed with turbo-blasters, and vibra-blades, slashing through the thick air of Borealis in a beat up blastboat, an everyday guy turned swashbuckling hero in the face of extreme adversity! Well, I'm not cool enough to pull off that Jedi shit, but who among us is?
Oh, the times we'd have hurtling through vast nothingness, landing in strange cities on even stranger planets, with wierd customs and shady people lurking beyond every corner, ready to blast a hole in your back for a few lousy credits, or rat you out to the Peace Brigade to save thier own worthless multicolored skins.
I'm sure they could use a guy like me in thier effort to drive the invaders back to what ever home world they came from. And I'd be just the guy to go. I can do hero guy shit, I know I can, I just don't have the chance here on this boring little blue rock, which incidentally is falling to fuckin pieces and could use some wise Jedi mediation right about now. I gotta go get back to my book. Wish real life was that interesting.